THE GIST:
A family travels around Europe in an effort to find healing after the tragic death of their two-year-old daughter.
THE VERDICT:
This is a beautiful account of one family's journey through grief and acceptance. When two-year-old Sierra Sijswerda drowned in a neighbor's swimming pool, she left behind her parents, Peggy and Peter, and two brothers. They decided to leave everything behind to move to the Netherlands, only to find that the sadness followed them there. Finally, Peggy and Peter packed the kids into a camper and traveled around Europe for six months, searching for home and healing. Peggy shares her struggles with guilt, anger and sadness in this rich and well written memoir.
This true tale deals with loss in a raw and honest way. Peggy describes the darkest moments in her marriage, her anger and numbness, and the fleeting, beautiful memories of her daughter with equal candor. Her journey of healing is also the story of her relationship with her husband and her sons, showing the communal and private sides of grieving. One of the strongest aspects of this memoir is when Peggy talks about her interactions throughout her travels with other people who had lost children. Even when she only shared a few words in common with them, they bonded over their shared grief.
Peggy's writing style is filled with vivid imagery and elegant descriptions. The story is about 150 pages long, and there were times when I hoped for more details, especially about the family's travels in Europe. Some of those sections seemed rushed and could have been a bit longer. The sections of the memoir that described the grief and immediate aftermath of Sierra's accident were fully developed and poignant. Although there was room for expansion, the emotional impact of Peggy's story was not reduced by the length of the text. This is a moving book that left me wanting more.
THE LINK:
THE COST:
I received an electronic copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review.
The Kindle edition is listed for $11.99.
THE QUESTION:
Do you think that grief and healing must happen privately after a tragedy, or do you think that they can be experienced with other people?
THE INTERVIEW:
(Note: I don't usually post author interviews, but Peggy sent me this one and it made me cry, so I decided to share it)
Interview with Peggy Sijswerda
Author of Still Life with Sierra
Peggy Sijswerda lives in Virginia with her Dutch husband, Peter. They’ve been married 26 years and have three sons, ages 15, 21 & 25. Peggy has worked as a teacher, writer, editor, and publisher. She loves to travel and learn about other cultures, hike in the woods, cook and eat, and practice yoga.
Q
Tell me about your book. What is it about? Can you describe it in just a few sentences?
A
Still Life with Sierra is a travel memoir but also focuses on family. It chronicles my family’s journey back to happiness after the death of my two-year-old daughter in a drowning accident. The journey took us to the Netherlands, my husband’s native land, as we attempted to run away from our sadness. The universal themes in the book resonate with anyone who’s had a loss but also include the searching process we all go though as individuals no matter where we live: the search for home.
Q
Why did you write it?
A
The truth is I tried not to write it. I enrolled in an MFA creative writing program, and this story kept creeping out of its hiding place. I really didn’t want to go through the emotional upheaval I knew would be necessary for me to write this book, But in the end I’m glad I wrote it.
Q
Why do you think your book needed to be written? What will your book do for other people?
A
In one sense, writing Still Life with Sierra was therapeutic for me and enabled me to come to a better understanding of why my daughter was a part of my life for such a short time. I learned lessons in the process of writing this book, ones I think will resonate with others.
Q
Who do you think will read your book? What made you think that there was a market for it?
A
I think anyone who is dealing with a loss will gain from reading Still Life with Sierra, which by the way is not a sad book. It’s about how normal people who find themselves thrown into a very abnormal situation pick up the pieces and carry on. I think many people face challenges in life. Some are better at coping than others. This book might help people who are a little stuck in their grief work. One perfect example is a story a friend of mine told me. Walter is sailing around the world with his girlfriend and bought my book when he came home for Thanksgiving. When he returned, his girlfriend read the book and decided to go visit the family of an old boyfriend who died suddenly right before she met Walter. Walter said she had been “dodging” her grief and could see her going through an emotional upheaval while reading my book. He’s certain the book prompted her to go back and deal with her unfinished grief work.
Q
It does not matter how good a book is, or how good your writing is if no one knows about it. What steps have you taken or do you plan to take to promote your book?
A
I publish a women’s magazine in the Va. Beach/Norfolk area called Tidewater Women. I serialized Still Life with Sierra in my magazine as an experiment to see how it was received. The response was overwhelming. Readers said they couldn’t wait for the next installment. They also lined up to buy the book when it came out. Now I face the challenge of marketing my book beyond my supportive circle of my readers. I am preparing to do presentations about the topic of grief and will speak to a wide variety of groups. I have a Facebook page for my book, but I am not on Twitter yet. I’ve send out a few press releases and review copies, but have not had results yet. It’s a numbers game, I know, but I think having a platform and giving talks about grief and death will make a difference in book sales. That would be my advice to authors everywhere. Find a platform that ties into your book and promote yourself as an expert. The whole process is time-consuming, but no one ever said being a successful author is easy.
Q
How did you publish your book? Did you find an agent, a publisher or did you publish it yourself? Please describe your process and tell us how you found the experience.
A
I worked with agents in the early stages of my book. One in particular spent a few months helping me shape my manuscript. But she kept saying she wanted more. I couldn’t quite figure out what she meant so we parted ways. More recently, I sent it to an agent, who liked it, but wanted it to be longer. I felt the book was fine as it was: lean, stark and powerful. Sure, I could have dredged up more sad memories or added more details about our time abroad, but I honestly felt the book was finished, so I decided to self publish. I used CreateSpace, a print-on-demand service affiliated with Amazon. The process was smooth, although I went through about six proofs, agonizing over commas and word choice. They say writers can never stop writing and re-writing their books. But I was finally pleased with it enough to let it loose. I would just add that I’m pretty familiar with page layout software so designing the book wasn’t difficult. There are services available for authors who don’t feel comfortable with laying out the book. By the way, give a lot of thought to creating a beautiful cover. First impressions are important, and you want your book to be compelling in its appearance
Q
Self-belief can be a big problem for writers. How did you manage to stay confident in your ability and remember that you were good enough to write your book? How did you cope with the days when you thought you could not do it and that it was rubbish?
A
I felt my story was unique and powerful enough to be meaningful to others. Also my work in the MFA creative writing program at Old Dominion University helped affirm my belief in the project. I had excellent feedback and support from my professors and fellow students. When I did feel discouraged, I generally put the manuscript away for a while. Sometimes writers need a little perspective. Plus if the story is powerful and compelling enough, it will draw you back to it, like a magnet. That’s what happened to me.
Q
It’s easy to procrastinate, to blame writers’ block and to put off finishing your project. How did you keep yourself motivated? And how long did it take you to write it? What was your routine?
A
I did go through periods when I wouldn’t work on the manuscript for as long as a year. In its first iteration, Still Life with Sierra was my thesis for my MFA degree, which I received in 2005. The book is a lot different now. In the ensuing years, I changed the structure and made a tense shift. Up until late 2009 when I finally was happy with the manuscript and began serializing it, I worked in spells, all the while applying improvements that came to me from conferences I attended, people I met, and life experiences.
Q
What was your biggest challenge regarding the writing of your book? How have you overcome that?
A
There are two that come to mind. The first was believing that I could write the book and understanding that it was important for me to write it. Second, marketing the book is tough, especially when you self publish. People look down their noses at you, assuming your book is not worthy of their consideration. It’s a shame because the publishing paradigm is shifting, and people need to recognize that good books can be delivered in a variety of ways. For example, Still Life with Sierra is available on Amazon as both a print book and an eBook.
Q
If you were to give advice to someone else who is thinking about writing a book, what would be your number one tip?
A
My advice would be write like crazy, pour your heart into it, and then edit, edit, edit. Remove unnecessary words. Be lean rather than verbose. One of my writing teachers told me not to tell people how to feel, to let the scenes and the action of the book evoke meaning. I tried really hard to do that with Still Life with Sierra. The result can be very powerful. As one reader wrote, the book is “…so exacting in stripping off the BS, to reveal the raw reality… I felt like I was spying. I’ve never read another memoir that made me feel that way. Peggy Sijswerda bravely walks you through the hardest days a parent can ever face and proves that it’s possible to survive the worst while keeping enough of oneself to share it with the people who matter most. I inhaled this book. I hope some of the author’s persistence and wisdom stays with me.”
What an excellent, powerful interview! Kudos to Peggy for pouring her heart out in a book, then not listening to others who would try to tell her how her book should be in order to be published!
ReplyDeleteRae
p.s. in answer to the question about public/private grief, obviously this was the best solution for Peggy, and I also shared my grief on losing 2 parents 3 months apart by writing a short essay in my writing class and found the feedback therapeutic.